I Will Possess Your Heart

What is it about the perfect song or the perfect book that just soothes the soul?

 

Education

So while I write this, I am currently an unemployed middle school teacher who is certified in both Language Arts and Social Studies. I’m continuously trying to find a job in either subject area, and it is very difficult.

The most frustrating thing about it all, is that I have seen some really bad teachers while I finished up my Masters and had to do my teaching internship. Yet, those teachers will continue to stay in the classroom and leave a negative imprint on the future of this country. It truly saddens me.

I saw Waiting for Superman, I do agree that there needs to be some changes to education in this country, but I am not quite sure what needs to happen. Education funding definitely needs to stop being cut. I know that here there are ridiculous amounts of hiring freezes because of education funding. People do not understand. It kills me. They don’t think its a big deal to have 40 kids in a classroom. Trust me it is not smart. Every student brings something different to the table, not everyone learns the same. You have to adapt your lesson plans so that everyone is able to learn the curriculum. The more students you have the harder that becomes to give the attention needed so that not one student falls through the cracks.  I am sick of teachers being blames for things though.

The problem with education in The United States is not just teachers. It is also not just parents, although, I do think parents are a growing problem. What happened to parents wanting to raise their children? Now it seems they pass their kids to schools to teach them everything they should be learning at home on top of their studies. They then get upset when things don’t happen the way they want. I’m shocked at how the change in respect that is given to education now. I remember when I was a kid, it did not really matter what I said to my parents, had I cheated on something or gotten in trouble and my teacher told my parents, whether or not I had done it they would take the word of the teacher over mine. Now as a teacher, you have to write statements, have witnesses write statements, etc., and even then most credit goes to the student no matter what. It’s ridiculous. I’m appalled by how some of these kids talk to their elders and their parents. What happened to respect for elders?

I guess I’ll save that question for my next blog entry.

Golden Globes/ Academy Awards 2010 Predictions

Okay so show is over and what does that tell us? Well, not much of anything. It’s decided by the Foreign Press who is spastic when it comes to voting. James Cameron will not win the Oscar for Best Director. His ex-wife Kathryn Bigelow will be the first woman director to win for The Hurt Locker.

Golden Globes also taught us that wow Sandra Bullock will be nominated for The Blind Side, and she might win. Meryl Streep who I loved in Julie and Julia might also win. Now, I love Meryl Streep. I think she’s definitely in the Top 5 actresses of all time. She’s long overdue for another Oscar, but as much as I love her she shouldn’t win this year for that role.

Up In The Air surprisingly walked away with barely nothing. Just a best adapted screenplay. I think they might do better at the Academy Awards. Jeff Bridges will win the Oscar for Crazy Heart. It’s more of a career win, but he’s gonna win. If Sandra Bullock wins I also think it’ll be a career win as opposed to individual performance, but still might happen.

Monique is going to win for Precious. I’d die of shock if she didn’t. I have a strong feeling that Christoph Waltz is going to win Best Supporting Actor. Best Picture I still feel is a bit up in the air. A lot of people say Avatar, and it’s definitely possible. I can also see The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds might win, who knows.

I do feel a little bad for Quentin Tarantino. I think he thought this would be a great year for him, and other than Christoph Waltz I don’t see him winning much of anything else.

I will say I still feel a little sad that Colin Firth won’t win for A Single Man, because again I think it’s brilliant. I still haven’t seen Crazy Heart yet though so I guess I can’t make judgments too quickly.

Nominations will be out in a couple weeks…

Award Season

As I wait for the Golden Globes to start I truly get giddy. I’ve always been such a film aficionado. High school I got amazing best friends who felt the same way I did, and we would go see all the movies nominated, make our predictions and have wonderful conversations dissecting each piece of a film.

These past couple years I’ve slacked a bit on going to see ALL the movies discussed in the Golden Globes and Academy Awards. Academy Award nominations are not out yet, but I’ve made quite a lot of progress for when they do based on Critics Choice and the Golden Globes. Some of these wonderful films include:

A Single Man

A Single Man starring Colin Firth, is just brilliant and beautiful. I feel like lots of words just don’t give it enough justice. I also don’t think it’s gotten quite as much praise as it should. Everyone discusses Colin Firth’s career role, but I think Tom Ford deserves quite a lot of praise as well. A Single Man is about a college professor who loses his lover, portrayed by Matthew Goode. He is horribly grieving and with it taking place in the 60′s, he’s unable to publicly express it. He decides to end his life and the movie follows this one day in which he makes this decision.

Tom Ford is a fashion designer and the art direction in this movie just so absolutely beautiful it can truly move you to tears. It was just such a beautifully done movie. I have always been a Colin Firth fan, but I did not know he had it in him to do this kind of role. It’s definitely the best performance of his entire career. I also can’t leave out one of my favorite actresses, Julianne Moore. She’s always amazing in everything she does. I don’t believe there’s a role that she isn’t able to do and do well.

A Young Victoria

This movie I was not originally so excited to go see. I did hear Emily Blunt was great at playing Queen Victoria, but I just assumed it be like all the other royal movies that have come out lately. Just yet another period piece. I was happy to be wrong.

Yet another beautifully made movie artistically. Queen Victoria was literally a child in the Kingdom’s eyes when she got the throne and it brought on many challenges. Everyone wanted her to marry and she was fiercely opinionated and independent. Emily Blunt does an amazing job in portraying this headstrong woman. It’s also a beautiful love story taking you through letters written to Prince Albert (Rupert Friend) and her. I will definitely be buying this movie when it comes out on DVD.

Nine

I don’t really understand why this movie didn’t do very well at the box office or with critics. It has a 36% on Rotten Tomatoes. Granted I love Chicago more, but I still loved this movie. The actors great, the dancing, the music, and of course it’s a perfect Rob Marshall film. It’s got flashiness. Kate Hudson and Fergie sang in my opinion the best songs. They sang the two songs that I literally wanted to stand up and clap after. Marion Cotillard also does an amazing job as Guido’s (Daniel Day Lewis) wife.

The film is an adaptation of the Tony award winning Broadway musical. It’s about a world famous Italian director named Guido Contino. He is trying to bring his career back on top as lately he has had lots of flops. The problem is that production is suppose to start on this latest film and he hasn’t even written the script. He can’t seem to figure out what to write as he also faces a midlife crisis. He turns to the women in his life for inspiration to help him through both his crisis and in making the film.

I’ll have to come back later to write about Avatar, The Blind Side, Inglorious Bastards, and Up In The Air.

I still need to see: The Hurt Locker, An Education, Precious, Crazy Heart… and we’ll see for the rest when the Academy Award nominations come out.

Moonlight Sonata

My time spent in Atlanta has been interesting. School has been good. I got a 4.0 my first semester of it. People in my classes for the most part are twice my age. Most people are married. Most have children. It’s easy to get lost here. I haven’t figured out whether or not that is a good thing.

This place is definitely lonely. I’m trying to not think about that though at least to the best of my ability. I am definitely closer to some of my family, but then I think at what cost? I think I should’ve just gone back to Texas where my friends were. It’s funny how your friends over the years truly do become your family. They fill a lot of that same void. Even when I’m with my family I still really really miss my friends. I do wonder though that if I move back to Texas will I then just miss my family again. There’s no way to have both. Am I just wishing for what I don’t have and ultimately will not achieve any happiness for it?

I still think that as soon as I’m done with degree here, that I might head back to good old Texas. I miss that state. It’s so strange to miss a state. I miss everything in it, but I actually miss the place itself.

It’s hard to make direct plans because:”In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.”
Proverbs 16:9

I’ve always been a religious person with great faith, but I felt my closeness to God slipping away the past year or so. Living for myself as opposed to God. I’m straightening that out. Life is way way too short. It’s sad.

I also laugh because I honestly feel at such a weird stage in life still. I’m not really an adult or at least I don’t feel like it. I’m not starting my career, or settling down. I’m also still not in those crazy young college years where everything is a party. It’s a strange place to feel so old and young at the same time.

I feel like 2010 will be a wonderful year. I pray that it will be. I need it to be.

Second Chances

My eyes are open wide
By the way I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way I’m leaving out today

I just saw Haley’s Comet, she waved
Said, “Why are you always running in place?”
Even the man in the moon disappeared

Somewhere in the stratosphere

Tell my mother, tell my father I’ve done the best I can
To make them realize this is my life, I hope they understand
I’m not angry, I’m just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Please don’t cry one tear for me
I’m not afraid of what I have to say
This is my one and only voice
So listen close, it’s only for today

Here is my chance
This is my chance

Huge life changes for me lately. I’ve been thinking about leaving law school since December. I finally came to the decision about a week ago to leave school. Accept that it is not meant for me and move on. I’m moving to Georgia to be closer to family and I think it’s going to be crazy change. I lived in Georgia 10 years ago, but I left when I was 14. My cousin who is a big sister to me just got married and is going to be having kids soon. I want to be there for that. I miss being near family. I also like the option that if I want to see my parents, all I have to do is drive 6 hours to see them instead of jumping on a plane. I definitely thought that I would end up in Texas. My heart belongs to Texas. I can’t explain it. I guess it’s just that crazy pride that people get annoyed with Texans about. I don’t understand it, but it’s there. I think being near family is more important than my attachment to a state though. I’m learning a lot. I’m putting faith in God that things are going to work out, and they seem to be. Funny how that works out.

I thought my parents were going to have a stroke when I told them I was choosing teaching over law school, but they seem to be happy now. It’s way less stressful. I’m honestly not cut out for 90 hour work weeks. I don’t want to take showers in my office or sleep in my office either. I want a family in the near future (not too near, but relatively soon). With working so much it’s hard to deal with a family. I’ve been told  by many attorneys that it’s impossible to work private practice and be an active parent. I’ve thought about going into public, but with the amount of loans I have. I honestly don’t want to. I think teaching will be great. I love children. It’s one of the reasons I decided to go to law school was to help people, and specifically children. I feel this way I get to have a more direct impact.

I’ve had some AMAZING teachers in my life, and I can only hope that I’m half as good or as much of a good influence as they were on me.

I have zero regrets about going to law school. I might be about $40,000 in debt from it and a year of life somewhat wasted, but I’ve learned some amazing skills that I would not trade. I also made some good friends. I’ve been working at a law firm all summer in their family law department. I’ve liked it a lot, but again I’m also not an attorney so I don’t have to deal with all of that. I’m thankful for the experience.

So yet another chapter of my life will be closing with another opening. I’m going to try and get myself to write on here some more. If anything to just sort my thoughts and get them down. Here’s to hoping that I actually remember and do it.

Skipalong

So this past week was my Spring Break from Law school. It was a very much needed break from school and everything that surrounds it. I hadn’t seen my friends from Undergrad in a little over 6 months and to say I was homesick was a bit of an understatement. I drove to Austin first. Let me tell you just how excited I was when I crossed the state border into Texas. I could almost cry. Texans are quite proud people, I ain’t gonna lie. ha. Anyways, after a ridiculous amount of traffic in Fort Worth because of weather and construction, a reminder that I will never ever live there, and I finally arrived in Austin. I was a little over 2 hours behind schedule, but by the time I got there I didn’t even care. Go to go to Baby A’s and drink these amazing purple margaritas. Apparently they are made with ever clear. I did not think it would be that bad. I drank 1 and another margarita and it totally caught be off guard.

I left for San Antonio the following day. I got to hang out with a bunch of friends and sorority sisters from undergrad. It was a really good time and awesome seeing them. I was there until Tuesday.

St. Patty’s Day consisted of coming back to Austin. Putting on my green and heading to 6th street. It was a lot of fun. People were everywhere dressed in green with beads, green beer bottles, clear plastic cups with green beer, and everyone was just belligerent. We went to this bar called Six on 4th. Confusing I know. Anyway, they had great music and people were a very good time. I honestly don’t remember the entire evening except for the fact that it was a blast and I nailed some bean and cheese tacos from a taco cart afterwards. The recovery time for St. Patty’s Day was not pretty. My body is just not that of an 18 year old. I can no longer drink like I once was able to and come back from it completely fine. I laid on the couch at my friend’s place until like 3 in the afternoon feeling as if I was going to die.

The 18th, I got to see some friends from High School who go to UT for both undergrad and grad school. That is always a good time.  It’s always funny to see how much people change and don’t over the years, myself included. I’d like to think we’ve all grown up a lot, although Sarah was definitely always the more grown up even though she was “younger.” Our personalities have remained the same though. This is what I love. I can always expect to get crazy witty comments from Sarah. They make me laugh. She’s probably one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. Brandon on the other hand just makes short little insults. They’re not meant to be taken seriously, and they’re just soo Brandon. One of the highlights of the evening was that he kept calling the dog that Sarah was pet sitting a different name ever 5 minutes. A few of them being: Pedro, Winston, and Frank. I have no idea where they came from, and he didn’t either.

19th- Basically consisted of spending lots of money. I got some new clothes, a couple new purses, it was fabulous. Later that afternoon we went to Auditorium Shores for a free concert. We saw Elvis Perkins in Dearland and The Cold War Kids. They were both awesome. I really really enjoyed The Cold War Kids. They brought in another band that had some horns to add to the music. It was fabulous. A friend of mine from school was also here for ACL and he got us in the Gibson Room at Maggie Maes that night. We got to see Paper Route who were freaking AMAZING. Their debut cd comes out next month and I can’t wait to purchase it. They’re from Nashville. A great rock sound to them. Somewhere between Coldplay and maybe the Killers? I don’t know. Great. This other band called The Deep Vibrations played afterwards. They were alright. Just not my thing, plus the lead singer and the bass guitarist literally looked like they were perhaps 15 years old max? It was a fabulous night of music.

20th- Yesterday, we got a phone call from my friend’s uncle who got us Convention Center tickets for the entire day except for 2 bands who we were to later find were Ben Harper and Third Eye Blind. Sucks cause they would have been awesome, but that’s okay. We did get to see Lenka. We were handed the tickets and I looked and saw the name and was like dude I know that name, but I can’t think of where. So I get out my iPhone and start to go through the songs I’ve uploaded on iTunes on there. Lenka being one of them and then it clicked. She did a song for that Renee Zellwegger movie: New In Town or something along those lines. I’m a weirdo for new music so a lot of times I’ll hear a song on a tv show or movie and then go see who it was and purchase it on iTunes. She was one of those people. We almost didn’t go see her since we were planning on just going to the concerts later that night, but we decided to go see her anyway. I’m so glad that we did. She was by far my favorite performance from throughout all the music I saw this week. She’s from Australia. She has this amazing voice. Not many people can sound just as good live as they can on a cd, but she is definitely one of them. It’s refreshing in a day in age when people only have to be able to sing good enough for 30 seconds at a time. Someone can go and edit and fix your voice to sound like Mariah Carey if they want. Lenka is amazing! She has this feel good pop music, an amazing personality, and she’s just super cute. She came out with this headband I absolutely loved and these heels I’d die for. Her band was great. She had a female drummer, someone on the horns, and there was even a tamborine and a kuzoo at a few points. I instantly purchased the rest of the CD when I got home. I love her. She’s great. After Lenka we went and saw Carlene Carter. Now, I had no idea who Carlene Carter was. I wikipediaed her to just see. When I saw that she’s June Carter’s daughter, that’s kinda all I needed to know. She comes from this amazing family and I wanted to know what she could do. She was pretty good too. Definitely been through a lot in her life. She sang Ring Of Fire which I thoght was pretty sweet. We ended the music night with going to see Solange and the Hadley Street Dreams. Another that I probably won’t buy her cd, but she was great performing. She really really does remind me of her sister Beyonce. I couldn’t get over how similar they look, but duh, they’re sisters. So it make sense. We headed to the Blind Pig after Solange. It was way packed so we only stayed for a little bit before heading to The Library. I love the Library. Not many places can you get $4 Long Island Ice Teas that are pure alcohol. The music is always fun too beause they show music videos to current and older songs. The only bad thing are the amount of young people there. I felt so old seeing all the “21″ year olds. I guarantee that probably half weren’t really 21 and the others were exactly 21. I don’t know. It was just weird. I’m only 23, but hitting up a place with a lot of those people made me feel ancient. Came home, played some rockband and passed out at like 3:30.

Unfortunately for today, I’m going to be missing out on the music and heading back home. Back to law school responsibilities that I have put off for the entire week. It’s depressing, but I did have such an amazing break.

All I Ever Wanted

Haven’t blogged in a bit, but I had to tonight even though I really should be going to bed since I have to get up so damn early tomorrow. Mtv, Vh1, and Logo are streaming Kelly Clarkson’s new album All I Ever Wanted. It’s so awesome. I really can’t talk about this album enough. I totally told my friend Christine, that 2009 was so going to be Kelly’s year and it looks like it most definitely will be.

Okay so her album:

First off called All I Ever Wanted because 1) It’s one of her favorite tracks on the album and 2) because all she’s ever wanted in her life was to make music and put music out there that she’s proud of. I love her. I really do. She’s sooo not Hollywood and it is so refreshing. She’s never gotten a big head and she’s been a part of the industry now for 7 years.

We’ve all been listening to My Life Would Suck Without You. It’s track 1 on the CD. Catchy and fun, but definitely nowhere near the best on the cd.

#2- I Do Not Hook Up- written by Kara Dioguardi and Katy Perry; suppose to be the second single. Also super catchy and such an awesome message. I love this song. I’ve heard Katy Perry’s demo, and I still think Kelly did it way better.

#3- Cry- written by Kelly and Jason Halbert; awesome awesome song. Probably will also be a single. Maybe the third? Beautiful lyrics. A song about betrayal she has said. It’s a different kind of ballad for her, and I like that. It’s a little country and waltzy and it’s so beautiful.

#4- Don’t let me stop you- A song about letting a guy go if you’re not good enough for him. It’s definitely the kind of song that she’s known for. I could’ve seeen this on Breakaway.

#5- All I ever wanted- Man I love this song. I can’t listen to it enough. It’s an Aranda cover, but I think it does it justice. It’s probably one of my favorite songs on this album. I hope to God she releases it as a single. It’s different than anything else on the radio, but in a good way.

#6- Already Gone- written by Kelly and Ryan Tedder form Onerepublic, also kind of a slow song. I love the lyrics to this. Basically just letting someone go. Knowing its what is for the best. Neither wants it to end, but it needs to so you take yourself out of the equation. I so think she wrote this song about Graham Colton just reading into her other songs about him, and his to her. Anyway, either way, another great ballad.

#7- If I can’t have you- Also written by Kelly and Ryan, more of a dance beat kind of song. I could hear this playing at some type of club. Not what I’m used to when it comes to her, but maybe that’s why I enjoy it. I like that she’s trying new stuff. She can sing anything and make it sound good.

#8- My other favorite song on this cd other than All I ever wanted, Save you. Save you is written by Ryan and Aimee Proal from a band called Gone Til November. It was on their demo and they’re no longer a band anyway. The song is such an amazing ballad. There’s a mozart piece in it that I just absolutely love. I think this song just hits home. It’s sooo great. Although, this song reminds me of Pink a lot. It’s definitely her style of music.

#9- Whyyawannabringmedown- definitely not what I was expecting. She did say there was something on here that was British punk and this is it. In all honesty it totally doesn’t fit in the scheme of the album in general, but I have definitely grown to like it. Again she can sing anything. This is another cover of a demo by Aranda.

#10- Longshot- another song written by Katy Pery, you can tell when you hear the song, but I do love it. I can see this song as another single as well. Super catchy.

#11- Impossible- written by Kelly and Ryan. I don’t really know how to describe this song. I like it, it’s very pop.

#12- Ready- written by Kelly, Now I heard the demo of this song last year and fell in love with this song amongst some others I was sad to see didn’t make the album But in the original lyrics she says “i sit so patiently, oh, love is shit” and in the new one she says “i sit so patiently drenched in what you want me to be.” Not bad.I just missed the other version. It was fun to say whilst singing, not going to lie. I wished she’d release this as a single too, but she won’t. It’s a fun song and I do enjoy it a lot.

#13- I want you- super catchy, very like old timey, written by Kelly I can see this as such a summer song. I’ve heard that Duffy sings in the background, not sure if that’s true or not, but I do enjoy this song a lot.

#14- If No One Will Listen- another ballad, this ballad I’m not so sure of. I mean she sings it really well and the lyrics are great. I’m just surprised it’s on this album. It almost sounds like it’d be on Thankful. It just doesn’t flow from the previous song to this one. I don’t know. Probably my least favorite song on this album.

So I know I bascially said the same thing on a lot of these songs, but they are all really really good. I can see most of this album doing well released as singles. I can’t wait until my pre-order from Amazon gets here in a week. I recommend going to give the album a listen. I think there’s a little something on there for everyone. It’s a wonderfully done album. I loved My December because of how personal it was. It didn’t do well, but it also didn’t get any promotion and still sold 2 million worldwide. I see this album doing really really well. Or so I hope. It’s definitely a happier Kelly, with some amazing new tunes. This album should be an awesome album to go see on tour. I can’t wait. Go pre-order the album or pick it up 1 week from today on March 10th.

Rockin’ The Suburbs

So I realized that I have yet to comment on this year’s Academy Awards. One word: Amazing. Definitely the best I’ve seen in my lifetime. I live for the Academy Awards. I mean granted it’s not as entertaining as the Grammys or anything, but you usually accept the boredom and watch anyway. I like to see what people are wearing, who is going to win, and what their speech will be like. I usually try and go see every movie nominated, I print my own ballot, make my choices and then watch.  Sometimes I’ll have two separate ballots (yes I’m that nerdy). The reason for two separate ballots being that I’ll have one for my predictions on who will win, and my other will be who I think should win.

Hugh Jackman was picked to host the Oscars because of what he did for the Tonys. People were wondering if he’d be able to bring the Oscars to life, and I definitely think he did very well. I loved the opening number and watching him dance with Anne Hathaway. His number with Beyonce was amazing. I just loved all of it. The Oscars needed a make over and they did a wonderful job with it. Having the previous winners give out the Oscar for Best Actor, Actress, and Supporting was amazing. It was almost like no one really lost that way. They were being told just how great they did by these AMAZING actresses or actors. It was beautiful. I cried when Penelope gave her speech. Sean Penn gave an amazing speech. Who didn’t love Kate Winslet and her dad whistling at her while she gave hers? Oh and of course we all knew Heath Ledger was going to win his award. Man, that was a beautiful speech as well. I know on Facebook that everyones statuses after the show was what’s Slumdog anyway? What’s so good about Slumdog Millionaire? It better be the best movie ever to win all those awards, etc. To those who haven’t seen it, let me tell you, GO SEE IT! Such an absolutely amazing movie. I think it deserves all the awards and all the praise. I absolutely love it.

In summary, the Academy Awards this year rocked. It just leaves me wondering if next year will be able to top it?

The Sound Of Something Secure

So I stumbled upon the band, The Morning Of on Myspace, and they are awesome. They’re a band from New York. I downloaded their album after listening to their music on their page. I also to their page and bought a pretty sweet t-shirt. I sent them a message to see if they actually tour the country or stay up Northeast. They’re still I’m assuming somewhat of a pretty small indie band. Anyway, they said hopefully this summer they should be hitting Texas up. I’m such a lyric whore. I really am. Nothing makes me happier than good lyrics with good melodies and singing.